Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
