Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
