Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
