i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
