Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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