I must be too annoying 4 u.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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