that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
