Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
