thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
