and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
