how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
