Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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