the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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