Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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