i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
