long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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