I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
