Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
