girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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