so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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