yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize