do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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