i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
