i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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