mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
