both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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