If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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