we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
