I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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