that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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