i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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