Sry I called you an 8
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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