If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
