I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
