And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
