im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
