I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
