I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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