when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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