girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
