NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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