where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
