I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
