Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
