You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
