you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
