just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
