We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
