some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
did you just send me my own nude
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
