Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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