Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
